How Finding a Therapist Feels Weirdly Like Dating
(Minus the Drinks)
If you have ever contemplated going to therapy, I’m almost certain you have imagined yourself sitting in front of some ambiguous looking person (likely wearing a cardigan) talking about the problem of the day. There’s some nodding, some smiling, some “how does that make you feel?”.
And sometimes, that is exactly what therapy looks like… but it also might not be. The thing about therapists is that they’re also just people. Living, breathing people who have their own beliefs, strategies, and even wardrobe style *gasp*.
Because therapists are just people too, it means that you may not like every therapist you meet. Just like in everyday life, you may have to try a few before you find one that feels right.
That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or the therapist. It simply means you’re human.
Finding the right therapist can take time, but a little preparation goes a long way. Here’s a few tips for when you’re on the hunt:
Know What You Want to Work On
This is a big one (and likely an overwhelming one). When seeking therapeutic support, we often think the therapist will tell us what we need to do to “fix” our lives.
There are two problems with that idea.
Firstly, while therapists are experts in mental health, they’re not experts in you. It’s helpful to have a general idea of what you would like to focus on as you begin your research so you can immediately filter out any therapist who isn’t a good fit.
Secondly, as a gentle reminder, there’s nothing to fix because you’re not broken. You are also a human being, having a human experience.
Do Your Research
The internet is full of therapeutic buzzwords, acronyms, and 7 day courses that will change your life. Do yourself a favor and identify a few modalities you might be interested in (mindfulness, CBT, EMDR, Attachment-Based, Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy etc.). Knowing what draws you in can help you narrow your search later.
Ask Your Friends and Family
Maybe one or a few people in your circle are already on this path. They may have a few words of wisdom, or love their therapist.
Check out Psychology Today, Mental Health Match, or Open Path Collective
Therapist create profiles on these directories to help people find them. Here are some resources for finding a therapist online
Psychology Today is the most commonly used and easy to navigate.
Mental Health Match is a lesser known website with a matching tool that gets pretty specific
OpenPath Collective is a place were therapists often offer their sliding scale time-slots.
You might look at all of these, or just pick one. Simply input your filter (more than just your zip code, based on the work done in steps 1-3) and click through your results
Write Some Emails, Make Some Phone Calls
The scary part, making contact. Therapists typically offer a free discovery call for new clients to connect, ask questions, and do a general vibe check. This is an opportunity to ask them about how they work, what their perspectives are, and any other questions that feel helpful for you.
From this point, you may feel open to scheduling with someone you’ve connected with. Bravo!
PRO TIP – just because you have one session, doesn’t mean you’ve found your therapist. If the vibes are off, know that you can always keep looking.
Finding the right therapist can feel a little like online dating. Some profiles sound great, but the chemistry just isn’t there once you meet. That’s okay. You’re allowed to keep looking until something clicks. Therapy is personal, and the connection matters.
So take your time, ask questions, trust your gut, and remember: you’re not broken, you’re just human — and humans sometimes need a little help finding their people.
If you're looking for a therapist in the Dallas area, I'd love to connect. Reach out here to schedule a free discovery call.
Cheers,
Becca
